Elvira Kurt: ?We ended our relationship, but we didn?t end our family?
Elvira Kurt is a Toronto-born stand-up comedian and comedy writer. She is the mother of 12-year-old Madeline and eight-year-old Xander with her ex-partner, Chloe.
In my late 30s, I started to think, I would like to be a mom. It wasn?t well thought out, though. If I took the amount of time I take trying to pick the right pair of sunglasses, then I would never do anything because, 10 years later, I still wouldn?t have picked those sunglasses. I hit a stage in my life where I thought, It would be fun to be a mom.
But I knew very clearly that I didn?t want to have the experience of carrying a baby. I met Chloe, whom I love deeply, who wanted to be pregnant and enjoyed being pregnant. I already had the sperm donor in mind, Bob Smith, another stand-up comic from a very pivotal troupe back in the late ?80s called The Funny Gay Males. We were worried that he would be over-involved, but circumstances dictated otherwise. Around the time that Maddie was three years old, Bob was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). You can plan for all kinds of things, but life unfolds the way it?s meant to and you constantly have to go with the flow. Now I just wish that Bob was 100 percent healthy and I wouldn?t care how involved he was.
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