Almost every time Andrea Langley?s* two-year-old visits his grandmother, there?s a surprise waiting for him. ?It ranges from dollar store toys to more expensive ones, like light-up trucks and books,? says Langley, whose son sees his grandmother every one to two weeks. ?She makes note of anything he likes and buys everything cute on that theme.?
It?s not that Langley doesn?t appreciate the generosity. But she lives in a condo and doesn?t have a lot of space for toy storage. ?Every new item becomes something that needs a place to be stored,? she says.
?I also worry that his relationship with his grandmother is being built on the fact that she?s a source of gifts, not experiences or common grounds.?
Langley and her husband have tried talking to her about the issue, and while the gifts might slow for a bit, they soon ramp up again. ?She?ll say, ?It?s just a small thing,? or ?I already had it here.??
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Why having more toys actually makes your kid boredJane Isay, author of Unconditional Love: A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being a Grandparent Today, says what Langley is describing is one of the most common complaints of parents when it comes to their own parents. ?The universal gripe in our focus groups was ?they don?t follow my ru...