Photography by Erik Putz
I lost a few friends when I got divorced. And I don?t just mean the ones who went with my ex in the post-marital division, but the ones who were my friends all along who just didn?t know how to support me as I went through an incredibly difficult period. Other friends amazed me. They seemed to show up at the right time and place, offered the most helpful responses to my complaints and even brought ice cream to my house after my toddler was asleep (thank you!). But it can be hard to know what to say and how to act.
If you know someone going through a separation and you want to be supportive but aren?t quite sure how, here are five rules to live by when being friends with a newly single parent.
1. Be a nighttime friend Whether your friend shares custody with her ex or her ex has left the parenting picture, chances are she?s home alone with her kids a lot. And a lot of the time, those kids are (hopefully) asleep. There?s only so much Netflix you can watch before you could use a little human connection. So call or FaceTime her to help make a long evening a little shorter. And every now and then, show up. Remember that your friend is basically trapped in her house from 6 p.m. until daycare drop-off the next morning. She may need someone to run to the store for milk or Tylenol or, let?s face it, ice cream (total emergency, right").
2. Make yourself useful
I found myself missing a lot of things when I first got separated. Not in a wistful, nostalgic w...