How to deal when your parenting styles clash
My husband and I couldn?t be more different. I am a rule-follower; he likes to break them. I like structure; he is more laidback. This personality dichotomy created a balance in our relationship?until we had our first daughter almost four years ago. We quickly fell into the classic cliché of good cop/bad cop, in which mom (bad cop) always had to lay down the law for bedtime and bad behaviour, while dad (good cop) got to be the one who had all the fun. It created some tense moments in our household.
But different parenting styles aren?t necessarily something to worry about, says Kyle Pruett, a clinical professor of child psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, and co-author of Partnership Parenting: How Men and Women Parent Differently?Why It Helps Your Kids and Can Strengthen Your Marriage. ?Children don?t need their parents to be exactly the same, he says.?I think a lot of so-called experts have made a lot of loving and well-meaning parents feel very bad because we have insisted that they must be on the same page,? he says. ?But I?m happy if they are on the same chapter.? In fact, kids will find a way to harmonize this dynamic far better than their parents ever will, he explains. Still, it?s hard to deal when your partner seems to contradict every decision you make. When Sarah?s three-year-old daughter ran into a parking lot after repeatedly being told to stay closeby, the mom of two took away her TV privileges. But after her husband came home from work that night, he...
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