I know it?s rude to stare. But when I was pregnant, I couldn?t stop myself: I was fascinated by parents of multiple kids. I shadowed them at the park, watching them push their older kids on the swings with their babies snuggled in carriers on their capable chests and effortlessly change diapers on the bench while directing their toddlers to a stash of granola bars.
I wanted in on their secret. I was petrified that I couldn?t handle two. That fascination turned to panic when my second son, Alex, arrived. I gave birth like a champ, but my life fell apart a month later when the doctors couldn?t figure out why he still had jaundice. Was there something wrong with his red blood cells" Or his liver"
I was catapulted into a frantic schedule of doctor visits and lab tests, scrambling to find care for my older son, Nate. I pretended to have it together, but I was deeply shaken. Even after Alex was given a clean bill of health months later, I was still messed up. I felt a surge of anxiety every time I buckled the kids into their car seats, and I froze every time my husband had to work nights. Each day was a struggle and, as I headed back to work, my worries only increased: How could I possibly add a job to the mix" We talk a lot about how to build resilience in kids. But what about parents" There had to be a way I could learn how to cope effectively with adversity and stress. I wanted to be calm and capable?I wanted what those professional-looking parents at the...