If you have a mental illness, or someone close to your child is struggling with their mental health, you may wonder if you should talk to your child about it. A person with mental illness may behave erratically or may withdraw, and that can lead to the child thinking they’ve done something wrong. So a conversation can feel like a good idea.
As a child psychologist, I’m often asked: What is the best way to have this chat"
There is of course no simple answer. It depends on a child’s age, their level of maturity. It even depends on their current circumstances; for example, we never want children to adopt the role of parent to their parents, and we never want children to feel like they are somehow to blame for how their parents are feeling. Sometimes though, circumstances would require the child to have some understanding of what is happening. This is especially true if they need to stay with an extended family member temporarily during a parent’s treatment. If you choose to discuss mental illness with your child, here are some guidelines, depending on their age:
Toddlers and preschoolers (ages 1 to 3)
Children this young do not need to know about a diagnosis. This is a time to shelter stress, as much as is possible, from your child. If you are the person struggling, be sure to ask family and friends to come in and help you with your parenting responsibilities as much as possible. The idea here is to try and make things as normal as possible for the...