When I was 12 years old, I decided that I was an alien?that was the most rational explanation for why I?d always had crushes on boys and girls. It took six years of listening to Ani DiFranco albums and meeting other ?aliens? before I learned the name for what I am. I came out to my parents as a lesbian when I was 18. It was emotional, and it took time to sort through as a family. I love my mom and dad, and I know they only wanted life to be easy for me. But if sexual and gender diversity had been woven into the fabric of our family culture, this probably wouldn?t have been such a momentous occasion.
To be fair, there was less awareness in the ?90s, and my parents had fewer resources than my generation does today. Now, two decades later, I have two young kids of my own. If they are queer or trans?or something we haven?t even come up with a name for yet?I don?t want them to feel the need to dramatically ?come out? to me because I?m not assuming that they?re straight and cisgender to begin with. ?Even from a very young age, kids are dialled in and pay attention to a lot of social cues related to gender and sexuality,? says Ashleigh Yule, a registered psychologist in child and adolescent mental health who specializes in LGBTQ2S+ issues, particularly transgender health. ?If we want to create an inclusive culture in our family, where coming out?as queer, trans, lesbian, bi, pan or even questioning?isn?t such a big thing, we have to be setting the right tone from day one.?
Represe...