Illustration: Erin McPhee
The early years of parenthood essentially amount to a prolonged game of How Many Times Did I Save Your Life Today, Kiddo" You?re constantly playing defence to prevent your oblivious toddler from falling down stairs, wandering into oncoming traffic or swallowing Lego. At the same time, you?re trying to limit their exposure to less immediate, more insidious dangers?cigarette smoke, sugar-loaded juices and, most important, the friggin? Frozen soundtrack.
Thus far, my wife and I have made it three years into parenthood without fielding any ?Let It Go? requests from our son, Ellis. As someone who writes about music for a living, I?ve inevitably taken a methodical approach to introducing my kid to my record collection. (Hey, I used to get excited about curating a mixtape or CD-R playlist?now I get to program a person!) But traditional children?s music and Disney show tunes haven?t been part of the equation, because they were never really part of mine. Thanks to my older brother?s collection of Kiss LPs, I went straight from the milk bottle to ?Cold Gin.? I?ve already got Ellis on a similar fast track. Because, let?s face it: Kids? music isn?t something parents enjoy; it?s something we endure. Listening to it is like the auditory equivalent of setting your kid loose in a shopping-mall play zone while you sit on a nearby bench checking your smartphone?an activity you do for them but not necessarily with them. Most children?s music is designed to sound...