Photo: Ian Hunter
When my wife, Michelle, was pregnant with our first son, I had such a fear of the unknown. Would he be healthy" Would I know what to do" Despite 10 months of reading baby books, taking prenatal classes and researching car seats, I never really felt ready. Until I held Nathan in my arms, there was always a constant buzz of worry. But nothing prepares you for parenthood quite like being a parent, so when my wife got pregnant a second time, that sense of dread completely evaporated. There would be even more love to go around our house. I was so excited that my son, Nathan, would have a baby brother.
We painted the room and tucked all the tiny sleepers away in the dresser. We bought a double stroller, installed a second baby monitor and converted one of our spare rooms into a ?big boy? room for Nathan. We were totally ready to be a family of four. Of course, somewhere in the back of my mind?a place I didn?t like going?there was a shadow of fear that something bad could happen. I just never expected it would happen to us.
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It was a regular Sunday morning and we were on our way to visit my family, who live about an hour away. On the drive over, Michelle became very tense, saying quietly that she hadn?t felt the baby move all morning. I brushed it off?she was worrying for no reason. She probably didn?t feel anything because we?d been in such a rush packing things up and tending to Nathan. I told her not to worry.
Shortly after we arrived at my p...