My first memory around money is my mom telling me that if my dad asked if my outfit was new, I should say no, even if it was. My dad worked and made the money, and my mom was a stay-at-home mom who spent it. She spent it on the mortgage, the groceries, and the things we needed?but she also sometimes had to hide her decisions and her purchases. My parents never talked about their finances in front of my brother and me, or taught us how money works. I don?t know if my mom ever used a household budget, or what that amount was. Money was just always a slightly scary, mysterious, stress-inducing topic.
But I did know that when I grew up, I wanted my own money, and I wanted to be able to support myself in a way my mom was unable to do. After my parents got divorced, she had no career to go back to. I knew that I didn?t want that for myself. And yet, as I write this, I?ve chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. I have no savings of my own, and no certainty in my financial future, besides what my husband provides. (I do have a Masters degree, and a past career as a social worker.) For now, our system is that I look after our toddler full-time, and my husband works full-time. Because I obviously need some cash, he gives me a weekly amount each Monday to spend on groceries, gas and any needs our son has, like diapers and clothes. (I don?t pay our bills or our mortgage out of this money?just gas and groceries and things for the baby.) But if I want to spend any money on myself, I have to ear...