It happened again this week. We were in line at the grocery store, trying to keep the toddler occupied, and chatting with the well-meaning woman with a bright smile behind us. ?Is he your first child"? she asks. My wife and I glance at each other?a quick flicker of the eyes is all it takes to reaffirm that we are still locked in the same confusing stalemate.
This is the question we get asked almost every time the three of us are in public. What people don?t ask, what seems to never occur to them, is whether or not he?s an only child. And as it turns out, he is an only child ? maybe ? probably.
The fact is, I?m still not certain about how many kids I want, even though my wife feels our current family size is ideal.

This is the question we get asked almost every time the three of us are in public. What people don?t ask, what seems to never occur to them, is whether or not he?s an only child. And as it turns out, he is an only child ? maybe ? probably. The fact is, I?m still not certain about how many kids I want, even though my wife feels our current family size is ideal.
At the age of 12, I confidently told my mother that I was going to have seven children. But, by the time I met my wife, some 18 years later, my perspective had changed. I wanted to be a mom, that I knew with incontestable certainty, but that was it. My twenties turned out to be both emotionally and economically tenuous, and I couldn?t imagine being able to pull off having more ...