I tried to give my kids everything?and then the bank called
I hung up the phone and collapsed on the floor in tears. $3,000. We were three months behind on our mortgage, and this is what the bank was demanding in back payment, late fees and interest. Pay it, or they?d foreclose on our house.
How were we going to come up with $3,000" We were behind because we didn?t have the money?how did they expect us to come up with it in just one month" If we had it, we would have paid it, right"
The truth is, we did have it. Originally. We just used it for other things. Like Christmas gifts and a birthday party at a water park. We?d spent our money on fun-filled weekends with friends and family instead of our mortgage?it was too embarrassing to admit we couldn?t afford to go away with them for the weekend. I?ve always judged myself by how successful I was in my career, how much money I made, what kind of a house I lived in. I wasn?t striving for something bigger and better?I was trying to outrun my shame. My early years had been nothing but embarrassment. I dropped out of college. I married at 19, had my first child at 21, my second three years later. I returned to college, but it took me seven years to complete a four-year degree. Every decision I made, it seemed, was the ?wrong? one.
Even though I had a loving husband, three beautiful boys and a challenging career I enjoyed, I worried that people would look at my life as one big mistake, and I thought my boys would be similarly judged, humiliated or left out. It wasn?t enough th...
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