I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things. Please score “zero” for As much as I always could; “one” for Not quite as much now, “two” for Definitely not so much now, or “three” for Not at all.
Sitting in the naturopath?s office, tears streaming down my face as I rocked my six-week-old in her car seat beside me, I struggled to process this question and the ones that followed. They seemed endless and the nuance between scoring myself two or three was irrelevant. I was miserable.
This was one of my first encounters with the Edinburgh Perinatal/Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS), developed in 1987 by Scottish health professionals, to identify women who may have postpartum depression. The CDC estimates that one in eight women experience postpartum depression and on a 2018 Statistics Canada survey almost a quarter of women who had recently given birth reported feelings consistent with either postpartum depression or an anxiety disorder. Over the next 10 months, I would take the EPDS at least five more times, on an impromptu basis at baby check-ups or it would turn up as a pop-quiz at doctor?s visit for something unrelated. Each time, I scored high?reassuring in some ways, because it fed my perfectionist ideals?but still, I didn?t believe I was depressed.
The test painted an image of a sad, powerless, woman crying in her room. That wasn?t me. I was a busy mom, taking care of two kids under 3. The last year had been a c...