It was late in the evening of our close friend?s son?s wedding reception outdoors on a large farm. Our two older kids were inside the tent on the dance floor with the bride and groom, and our younger two were at the fire pit making s?mores.
My husband and I stood a few feet away reconnecting with some friends we hadn?t seen in a few years.
?You guys are so amazing for accepting your child as he is,? a friend of a friend whispered over the rim of her drink.
?I don?t see that there was any choice,” I replied. ?We love him. We would never want to hurt him.? That was one of the canned responses I?d developed over the previous few months, although most often I went with a simple thank you.
A second friend came in for a hug and looked me in the eye, ?You truly are a great mom. So brave. Really.? ?He?s the brave one,” I replied. “But thank you.?
I looked over to my son. He was laughing and wiping melted marshmallow on his friend?s arm. A friend he?d known his whole life. Not missing a beat, everyone around us accepted him as if nothing had really changed.
When our family came out to the world about our 11-year-old child transitioning from female to male, my husband and I were inundated with praise. Still today, two years after the fact, we have random strangers, like the registrar helping with his legal name change, tell us we are remarkable parents.
Of course, we could never live with ourselves if our child felt unloved and unaccepted. But there is more beneath...