Photo: Courtesy of Jessi Cruickshank via flare.com
Getting pregnant is the only celebratory life event you can?t immediately celebrate.
Think about it. When you get engaged, you call your friends and family and change your status on Facebook. When you get married, you throw a party and make toasts and go on an exotic honeymoon. When you get pregnant, you get fat and sick and eat carbs alone. And no one is allowed to know why.
If you follow standard protocol, you?ll wait to make it safely through your first trimester before announcing your pregnancy. That makes sense. It also makes you a stone-cold liar. For three straight months you have to find shrewd ways to deceive your family, coldhearted methods of lying to your friends and sneaky tactics to mislead your employers. When your body is changing, your hormones are raging and the sight of an Egg McMuffin makes you want to cry and/or vomit, all of that deception can be hard to pull off. Because my twin pregnancy was high risk, I was advised not to share my news with anyone for at least four months. As a result, I got fatter and moodier and better at lying. By the middle of my second trimester, I had become the Donald Trump of pregnant people. I could deceive my friends, family and followers with ease. I figured, if he can lead the free world, the least I can do is share some of my tried and true techniques for hiding a pregnancy. Enjoy.

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