?She is so cute! I want to steal your baby.?
?Oh, what a doll! I?m just going to take her home with me.?
?Are you sure you want to keep her" You should let me take her!?
?What a sweetie! Can I have her"?
Last week, four white women jokingly said these things to me about my admittedly adorable four-month-old baby. They were all entranced with her easy smile and wanted to express how gorgeous they thought she was. Each time, I felt uneasy in the moment but laughed it off. It?s something I?ve heard many times before with my other children?a strange term of endearment. I usually shrug it off, but this time it really bothered me. Now that a few days have passed, I?m able to articulate why.
I have been pregnant six times and given birth to four babies. Being visibly pregnant can seem like an invitation for others to violate your personal space?as if it weren?t totally inappropriate to touch a stranger?s belly without asking for permission. I got fairly adept at sidestepping the roaming hands and unsolicited advice. Over time, I?ve also had to learn how to comfortably deny strangers the chance to touch my babies. This almost invariably ends in people feeling offended at what my denial may mean and me wondering how I became the bad guy in this situation. The thing is, I get it. I love babies, too, and if you were my friend or relative, you?d get cuddling opportunities galore. But that isn?t the situation. And given my experience last week, it seems clear to me that I?m no...