Photography by Erik Putz
You didn?t want it to end like this?no one does, particularly when there are kids involved. But the fact is, about 40 percent of Canadian marriages end in divorce. That?s roughly 70,000 couples each year. If you and your spouse are considering joining their ranks, this should give you hope: The vast majority of divorce cases are settled out of court?just one percent end up going to trial. (That means you?ll likely be able to sidestep a process that can last years and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.) And there?s a growing number of divorce professionals who can help you stay away from the courts entirely.
Call it ?conscious uncoupling? if you will, but a saner approach makes common sense. Canada?s family court system is overloaded?in Ontario, for instance, it can take months just to get a preliminary case conference, and there are backlogs in just about every province. That means judges don?t have time to get a handle on you and your soon-to-be-ex?s financial constraints, your parenting goals and your kids? extracurricular schedules. They need to push as many couples through the system as quickly as possible, and that forces them to impose one-size-fits-all custody and support solutions that don?t work for many families. ?Families are like snowflakes?no two are the same,? says Gary Direnfeld, a social worker based in Dundas, Ont. That means one spouse often emerges the winner, guaranteeing a disgruntled ex and increasing the likelihood of conf...