When my oldest was four years old, he had a procedure done at the Children?s Hospital that involved getting an IV inserted into his little arm. Unfortunately, the nurse kept blowing his veins, but rather than calling for the IV team, she kept trying. And trying. And poking. And prodding. Finally, after what must have been her fifth attempt and another excruciating prick, my son looked at her and calmly said, ?You stupid f$&k.?
He said exactly what we were all thinking, but I was still mortified. Apologizing profusely, I said, ?I?m so sorry. He is in JK this year and has learned some pretty bad words.? My little angel?s response: ?Actually, Mommy, they are not all from kindergarten. I learned a lot of words from you in the car, like douchebag and idiot.? The nurse gave me a dirty look and called the IV team and it was inserted without further incident. I would like to say that was the last time my son ever swore or that he only swears in extreme circumstances, like when a stubborn nurse is causing him pain, but that would be a lie. In actuality, though, he doesn?t swear that much.
But, unfortunately, my youngest?my sweet, cherubic three-year-old?swears like a trucker (or a mom driver who forgets there are kids in the back seat). And she is not alone: I have one friend whose son?s first word was the F-word. My youngest daughter has recently taken to calling people ?fidiots,? a hybrid of her two favourite insults (it sounds so much better than the original, longer version ...