Photo: Raquel D’Apice via Chronicle Books
This is an excerpt from Raquel D’Apice’s hilarious new book, “Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming.”
I bought a baby book to record my son?s milestones because I thought that was something I was supposed to do. The book had all the milestones I expected it to have. First tooth. First word. First step. Most of these books are the same. Sometimes they have ?creative? prompts, tipping you off on what to write to your child.
The first time I saw your face                                                .
My favorite part of the day with you is                                  .
A cute thing you did recently was                                         . And then there are the dates, which baby book manufacturers seem to feel are very important. What was the date of his first car ride" Her first bath" His first visit to Nana?s house" After about 15 seconds of these I want to scrawl ?I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS? in block letters across the page. Today he rolled from back to front is not a story I would tell people over coffee unless I was hoping they would fall into a sleep deep enough for me to steal their iPhones or draw penises on their foreheads in Magic Marker.
Still, like everyone, there are days when I feel like completing these prompts with gushes of overwhelming love.
The fir...