Passive-aggressive gifts that kids will love and their parents will hate
Whether you?re trying to get someone back for the super-annoying gift they bought your kid (hello, singing remote control car) or it?s a long-standing grudge (maybe your next-door neighbours have been renovating their house for six years), this list will help you exact sweet revenge. Some of these gifts are more aggressive than others (I?ve provided a handy five-point rating system so that you can select a perfectly obnoxious gift for every occasion), but all are guaranteed to send your message loud and clear. Best of all, you?ll make an innocent child very, very happy.
FANCY SAND
There are a lot of different types of super-cool, fancy sand. Whether it?s magic, kinetic or apparently harvested from the moon, all of these specially engineered substances are marketed as mess-free fun (as the grains supposedly stick together). What this means in real terms, though, is that it?s too soft and sticky to be swept or vacuumed?you have to crawl around on the floor and roll it up into little balls. It will cling to your wood floors and every item of clothing your child is wearing until she sits down on a piece of furniture, and then the sand will stick to that. Also, while this hasn?t been proven, I?m convinced that this stuff reproduces. YOUR PITCH: ?I know how much you value your beautiful, clean house, and this is special sand that doesn?t make a mess!?
NUMBER OF MIDDLE FINGERS: 4
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
A friend once asked if my daughter had a ukulele right before her birthday. I prom...
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