Shortly after my son was born, the panic attacks started
Photo: Kelly Boutsalis
My first panic attack happened while I was browsing shelving units at Ikea. I was shaking, my leg kept banging into my seven-month-old son?s stroller and my heart was beating like crazy. But as soon as I got into the parking lot, the feelings dissipated.
A second attack hit me a few days later at an empty grocery store: I felt like I was being squeezed tightly by the aisles around me, and this feeling followed me and my stroller all the way home and lingered for a few hours.
The third one literally knocked me to the ground. I vomited several times and hyperventilated, losing feeling in my legs and feet while my hands turned into claws I couldn?t move. Curled up on my bathroom floor, next to the bathtub and my daughter?s training potty, I didn?t know I was hyperventilating (which was slowing down the blood flow in my limbs) until the paramedics arrived half an hour later. The whole terrifying ordeal lasted about two hours. Exhaustion set in and, thankfully, my mom?who had been staying with us for the weekend?was able to help my husband out with my baby and daughter. I had a hard time sleeping that night, worried about another attack. A few days later, alone with my baby?my husband at work, my older daughter at daycare and my mom back to the reserve?I took a sip of coffee and my heart started racing again. I began imagining scenarios and how helpless my little guy and I would be if I had another attack.
I started crying, and I knew something wasn?t righ...
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