I used to think that performing for children was a cute endeavour full of cookies, laughter and the Lollipop Guild. Then I became a children?s performer. As a member of The Monkey Bunch for the past 12 years, I?ve been making humorous, political music for kids, bringing joy, laughter and edutainment to children across Canada. But let me tell you, it isn?t all unicorns and bubbles.
First of all, there are the parents. They text, talk on the phone and occasionally flash a nipple (breastfeeding)?it?s almost like a Mötley Crüe concert. They consider showtime a good time to catch up on emails or take a much needed break. They spend a lot of time telling the sound guy ?It?s too loud, my baby?s trying to nap.?
As for the kids" Stumbling patrons, a bit of pee or vomit, the sticky, stinky mosh pit?well, that?s right up there with Green Day audiences. But whatever the event, as children?s performers, we live by an unspoken code to uphold a sparkling forcefield that preserves the joy of childhood and the sanctity of the stage. No matter how much a four-year-old coughs in my face, how many juice boxes get lobbed at me during a solo or how many goats escape from the petting zoo, children?s performers always stick to the code.
Things were going well for our band. Our second album had been nominated for a Juno, the National Post?s Ben Kaplan wanted us to be on the Polaris Music Prize list, and we were playing festivals, park openings and statutory holidays. We were starting to feel...