When my son was no more than three, he toddled up to a salesperson in the toy aisle of a department store and asked for a Polly Pocket. ?Oh, but that?s a girl?s toy,? she replied. My partner intervened promptly, assuring our son there was no such thing as a girl?s or boy?s toy, and asking to be directed to the right shelf. She recounted the story to me later with a mixture of rage and despair.
This was gender policing?when we learn to coerce one another to conform to gender norms. It begins at birth?or even before, if you throw a gender-reveal party. When I was born, a doctor held me upside-down by my feet, gave a gentle pat on the tush, inspected my genitalia, and told my mother, ?Congratulations, you have a healthy baby boy. What?s his name"? Shortly thereafter, an infant ID bracelet was prepared?strung with blue beads to denote my gender, and lettered beads with my surname. Before my first diaper change, I had a pronoun and a colour associated with me. These are just examples of how little kids are confronting gender identity?and gender assumptions?long before a school curriculum might address it.
I?ve been an elementary school teacher and librarian for the last 18 years. Believe me: curriculum guidelines mandated by the government aren?t introducing these topics to students?even the littlest kids are exploring this part of their identity already.
A little backstory: from 2015 until 2018, we taught gender identity and gender expression, as well as sexual orientation...