We took our baby off life support. We had to let him go
In May 2016, at a hospital in Bath, England, actress and writer Tamara Podemski?s second son, Benjamin, died five days after his birth. The case was national news in the U.K., and the inquest that followed led to regulatory procedures on C-sections to be amended in Britain, where Podemski and her husband, the British actor Jamie King, were then residing (they have since relocated to Toronto, Ont., to be closer to Podemski?s family). She spoke to Chatelaine about the experience and what losing Benjamin taught her about grief.Â
In 2010, I was living in Los Angeles when I met this incredibly charming Englishman at a party. After two years of long-distance dating it was like, ?Okay, are we gonna do this"? We got married and decided we would set up shop in London. I was 35 and knew I wanted to start having babies right away. We got pregnant almost immediately. We bought a house in an amazing little medieval village in the southwest of England called Frome. It was a magical, happy time. We?re both a bit hippyish, and we did a lot of alternative birth preparation practices. We decided we wanted a home birth and read every book that we could find. I felt so incredibly supported by the midwife-led system in the U.K. My Canadian friends would say, ?What do you mean you don?t see a doctor"!? But we were very confident and happy.
My first son Oliver?s birth did not go to plan. I went into labour at 41 weeks, and after 25 hours I was rushed to hospital and given an emerge...
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