What parents wish their doctor had said during their miscarriage
The doctor held the ultrasound transducer on Jenna Hewson?s belly on a busy Saturday morning in the labor and delivery unit at a Calgary hospital. Hewson was 25 weeks pregnant, and she?d come in, alone, after feeling a decrease in the baby?s fetal movements. Her partner had stayed home to watch their older child.
?The doctor just said, matter-of-factly, ?I don?t see it. That happens sometimes,?? recalls Hewson.
?Don?t see what"? she asked.Â
Nobody answered, and finally a nurse, who was also in the room, said, ?The heartbeat.? Hewson had to conclude for herself that her unborn daughter, Rose, had died, and she was about to have to deliver a stillborn baby. She was sent home with induction medicine and instructions to return the next day to deliver the baby. ?I actually didn?t see a doctor again until I had been in labour for almost 10 hours,? she says. ?When I did finally see a doctor, he was thorough in his explanation of what it would be like to deliver a stillborn baby and the complications that could arise. That was, of course, helpful, but he was very clinical and referred to my daughter as a fetus,? says Hewson.
Not all doctors are this cold and routine about the loss of a baby. Some are excellent at empathizing, and feel each loss personally themselves. In fact, OBs, midwives, and other prenatal specialists do receive specific training, as do all doctors, on counselling patients when they deliver bad news. But some expectant parents find out the hard way that no...
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