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Mom of three Isabelle Moore* still remembers the day she found out that her son Ewan* had bullied someone. ?This behaviour has got to stop,? her friend Jessica Lapin* said angrily into the phone as Moore listened, confused. Nine-year-old Ewan was friends with Lapin?s son, Sam*.
According to Lapin, Ewan had been calling Sam names, which intimidated him. Now he?d thrown a stone at Sam?not only was Sam physically hurt, but he also didn?t want to go to school. It was clear Lapin was very upset.
Moore?s first reaction was denial. Ewan had been acting like his usual self, and he hadn?t said anything about having problems with Sam.
It wasn?t until the school principal confirmed that Ewan had been teasing Sam and disrupting class by arguing with teachers that she began to accept there was a problem with his behaviour. ?I was taken aback,? Moore says. ?It was a real shock, because I had been thinking, ?My child wouldn?t do that.?? Joanne Cummings, a psychologist and a director at PREVNet, a national organization dedicated to stopping bullying, says Moore?s initial disbelief is typical of parents when they learn of their child?s bullying behaviour.
To be clear, Cummings defines bullying as ?aggressive behaviour within a relationship in which one child holds greater power than the other,? and it comes in three forms: physical, such as punching, pushing and hitting; verbal, such as mean teasing, name-calling and threatening; and social, such as leaving a child out, ...