What to do when your kid starts to lie
When Jennifer Kolari went downstairs to find her brand new Indian rosewood dining table covered in permanent marker, she was pretty sure she knew who the perp was. She called her preschooler into the room and asked her if she knew anything about the mess. Her daughter looked back at her and answered: ?It wasn?t me, Mommy.?
It was a pretty typical lie for a kid her age, which is something Kolari knows, because as well as being a parent of three, she is also a child therapist and author of Connected Parenting: How To Raise A Great Kid. But for a lot of parents, seeing their little angels turn into tiny truth stretchers can be stressful and confusing. Is it normal" Should you be worried" And how do you set your kid on the path to being a (mostly) honest adult" (Because, let?s face it, fibbing serves a purpose.) The truth is that all kids lie?most long before they have an intellectual understanding of what lying is. And lying may even be a sign of high intelligence. Kids who lie in their toddler and preschool years tend to have a better handle on executive functions (those faculties that enable us to manage impulses and focus), and some studies suggest early lying is a predictor of future success?so much for playing by the rules. For all kids, it is a significant stage of brain development, as young minds learn to separate fact from fiction, develop autonomy and accountability, and eventually understand why honesty is important.
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