Not 24 hours after my son was born, a couple weeks early, I remember joking with my husband that my ginormous breasts could probably feed all the babies in the NICU.
I had assumed breastfeeding would be easy. But I soon learned that maybe I should have read more than just Chapter One of the nursing book on my night table. As it turned out, nursing did not come easily to us?and having big boobs doesn?t mean you make more breastmilk.
I had a completely healthy plus-size pregnancy and birth, but Braeden had arrived a month early, and needed some extra support in the NICU. During our hospital stay, I worked with the hospital lactation consultant to figure out how to nurse him with my size F breasts that were twice the size of my son’s tiny head. The lactation consultant was supportive, but she made breastfeeding feel far more medical than natural. Each time we nursed involved timers, charts, and supplementing with pumped breast milk.
To make matters worse, my own mom?like many concerned new grandmothers?made a comment in the early days of breastfeeding that made me question whether I was doing it right, too: she asked me if Braeden could even breathe.
?I’m not smothering my baby!? I told her, while thinking, Am I smothering my baby"! I tried to brush it off, but her comment added to my insecurities. I think all new moms have doubts about whether they?re breastfeeding correctly and worry whether their babies are getting enough milk, but for me, it was wrapped up...