In the moment, I barely notice it; it?s like a natural reflex to me. I?ll be introducing my eight-month-old daughter to a new person or a family member we haven?t seen in a while, and she?ll respond with little interest?not smiling, not cooing. Immediately, I?ll spring into apology mode: ?I?m sorry, she didn?t nap for as long as she normally does?; ?I?m sorry, she?s having some gas issues.? You?d be amazed at how many excuses my brain can concoct in the moment.
I?ve been thinking about this impulse of mine a lot since reading a post by the Girl Scouts of America last week. In it, they advised parents to reconsider the habit of nudging their daughters to hug family members. You?re likely familiar with the scenario?we?ve all been around a casual ?Go give your auntie a hug,? or ?Aren?t you going to give a kiss to Grandpa"? The Girl Scouts suggest that doing this may send a message you don?t want to send: ?Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn?t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she ?owes? another person any type of physical affection when they?ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.?
I admittedly had never thought about this before, though I?ve heard countless parents (including my own) say similar things. Children bring joy to a room, and family members want to shower them with affection. But apply ...