Why is it my job to help my kid buy Christmas gifts for my ex-husband"
Driving to school last week, I asked my 11-year-old whether she had thought about getting Christmas gifts for her dad and stepmom. As usual, no, she hadn’t (because she is 11 and more concerned about spending her limited funds on stuff for her friends). So, like I do every year, I said I’d give her some money to make sure my ex and his wife get something from her under the tree.
After I dropped her off, I started to feel resentful. Why do I do this" My ex and IÂ split soon after I became pregnant and we are definitely not on friendly terms by any means. I?m fortunate that my daughter loves flying across the country from our house in Nova Scotia for her thrice-yearly custody visits to her dad?s in Vancouver, and I trust that he?s a good parent when she?s with him. (Although I still don?t think I really should be buying him a participation prize.) But there?s never any thanks or acknowledgement, and they sure as hell never buy me a gift from her. Yet every year, I try and pick out something nice for her to pack along in her suitcase. This is yet more emotional labour that falls onto my plate, for two people with whom I do not have an easy relationship.
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