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Sonja Weaver?s elder son used to love putting on his ballet leotard or Elsa costume and dancing around the living room. But as he approached his fourth birthday, the sparkly dresses were staying in the costume box. ?He dropped princesses like a hot potato,? recalls Weaver. ?He hasn?t quite said he thinks dresses are for girls, but I see it in his actions.?
Like many parents in her progressive-leaning circle in Victoria, Weaver and her husband try to avoid choosing gendered clothing, toys and activities for their two sons. They stocked their costume trunk with both princess tutus and superhero capes. But despite their best efforts, their preschooler started forming strong ideas about the differences between boys and girls, gravitating toward stereotypically ?boyish? toys?trucks, weapons, superheroes?and preferring books and movies featuring male characters. According to child development experts, asserting a gender identity and dividing the world into ?girl things? versus ?boy things? is typical behaviour for preschool-aged children, even for many whose parents have tried to take a more gender-neutral approach.
?Between the ages of three and five, children start paying a lot of attention to their peers,? says Christia Spears Brown, a developmental psychologist, mother of two and author of the book Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue: How to Raise Your Kids Free of Gender Stereotypes. Spears Brown says kids this age also become very aware of categories, so th...