There aren?t enough bicycles to go around at three-year-old Ben?s daycare. And when Ben isn?t able to get to one first, his teachers say he goes into full-on meltdown mode.

That?s no surprise to his dad, Scott Watson, who has seen Ben become upset at home, too, when he races with his older sister, Zoë, and she speeds ahead. ?It usually ends with Ben in tears, because his legs are too short to keep up,? says Watson.
The desire to be first?and the freak-out that ensues?is perfectly developmentally appropriate for three- to five-year-olds, says Beth Stockton, a professor at the School of Early Childhood at George Brown College in Toronto, and a registered early childhood educator. For many preschoolers, a combination of three factors contributes to the behaviour. For one thing, kids this age are full of initiative. ?They?re trying to be doers,? says Stockton. ?They?re all of a sudden competent in ways they weren?t before.?
They?re also egocentric, meaning they literally can?t imagine putting anyone else before themselves. ?[Doing so] is a cognitive skill, and it?s also a social skill,? says Stockton. ?Learning to take the perspective of someone else means you have to subjugate your own needs and desires to work in a group.? That?s something all parents know preschoolers aren?t great at.

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