Why tweens have explosive bursts of anger?and how to handle it
Something as simple as a bowl of blueberries can set nine-year-old Kaiya off. ?She?ll say her siblings got more, even if the bowls are perfectly equal,? says her mom, Tara Carruthers. Other times, Kaiya will rage because the shirt she wanted isn?t in her drawer or she?s been asked to turn off a show or she believes her sisters got more cuddles at bedtime. ?She?ll get really mad and stomp away or go to her room,? says Carruthers. ?It?s the tween version of a
temper tantrum.?
It?s not uncommon for kids to let anger get the better of them in their preteen years, says Jennifer Kolari, a family therapist in Toronto. This even applies to kids who have never had issues with managing emotions before. ?You?ll see anger, pushback and an increase in anxiety at this age. They are leaving that magical little world of being little kids, where adults know everything and it?s safe,? she explains. Anxiety and anger, Kolari points out, are two sides of the same coin. ?Fear either goes outward into anger or inward into anxiety. We think of anxiety as kids hanging behind their mom, but an anxious child can also look angry and bossy and reactive.? Puberty is looming at this age, which can cause worry for some kids. Hormones also begin flooding the body, affecting mood and sleep. School and activities can add pressure, and these days, kids are spending way more time on screens than they should be. ?Screens, particularly video games, and the constant dopamine kids are getting from them, are ma...
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