It?s not the most relaxing moment to be a parent to kids under five years old. All of our loved ones, in-laws and even some animals at the zoo are able to be vaccinated against COVID-19, but not the tiniest humans. Parents of young kids don?t just need a break?we need an all-inclusive rehabilitation centre (with attached spa). As we weather round after round of isolation periods with unendingly symptomatic children prohibited from attending daycares and preschools, in the dead of winter, no less, comfort yourself with the knowledge that other parents are in a similar pit of despair and chaos. Hey, at least you?re not alone. (Remember being alone")
There are a few behavioural symptoms, ranging from mild to severe, that you might recognize if you?re in the middle of a self-isolation period with small children. The only known cure is a long vacation that you?re not likely to take any time soon. So for now, we self-diagnose, self-soothe with reality television when we occasionally get a turn with the remote and pray to whoever is listening for an early spring and a vaccine for little kids. Here are 20 signs you might have isolated with small children one too many times (or 15!):

You’ve muttered ?what fresh hell? under your breath so often that now your three-year-old has picked up the phrase. Don?t worry; she?ll probably never be healthy enough to attend school again, so nobody is going to know.
To save yourself a few steps, you’ve seriously considered dumping...