Dear Cruz,
On the morning of January 11, 2015, I took a photo of my growing belly sticking out of my onesie. I was a few days from entering my third trimester and other than the nausea, I felt amazing. Any superficial insecurities I had were erased by the new form my body was taking and the feeling that I was doing what I was supposed to. How quickly things can change.
Later that day my back started to ache, but I assumed that was a normal part of pregnancy. It was getting late and I was tired. If I could just close my eyes and sleep I knew I would feel better in the morning. I would make one last trip to the bathroom then I would go to bed. In the bathroom I called to your dad, “I’m bleeding!” He raced us to the hospital in what seemed like record time. The drive was a blur; I remember focusing on the grip my hand had on the passenger side door, the back ache turning into a much more severe pain. Photo courtesy of the writer
The hospital felt quiet and huge. Checking into labour and delivery I fumbled to find my health card while telling the nurses I was 27 weeks 5 days pregnant?and bleeding. I passed my wallet over to your dad to find my card as they told me to come with them. The nurses were calm. I felt lost. They connected me to a fetal Doppler and we heard your heart beat?your healthy, strong heart beat. A wave of relief came over me. Even though the pain was getting worse, I assumed everything was going to be okay.
The doctor arrived and did a quick...