I’ve been actively teaching my little one about consent since she was five months old. Penny* may not be able to verbalise ?no? or ?stop? just yet, but she is definitely communicating with us through her babbles, tone and gestures.
I am a survivor of trauma, child abuse and rape, and I believe that a lot of the pain I endured could have been avoided had I been taught about consent as a kid. Thankfully, with the therapy I?ve received over the last decade, my mental health has never been stronger. And my efforts are now focused on my thirteen-month-old.
What is consent"
Consent isn?t just about physical or sexual activities; it pertains to the whole self: mind, body and spirit. Ultimately, it?s about one?s autonomy?feeling comfortable and confident in making choices that aren?t influenced by external pressures. For instance, at Penny?s daycare, a caregiver used to clean Penny?s face with a paper towel after a meal. That?s how she cleaned all the children, but it was obvious Penny didn?t like it?I could see her grimacing and pushing the caregiver?s hands away on the daycare cameras. It was her way of saying no.
It?s important to me that I support and respect my child?s wishes, not diminish them for the sake of ?keeping the peace? the way I was raised. So I mustered up the courage to ask the caregiver to use a soft cloth we provided instead. Penny was much happier and no longer had issues with meal time and washing up.
Whenever it?s safe to do so, respecting a child?...