Waiting in line at Target, I felt like murdering my husband. I didn?t wish to physically kill him, but I wanted to yell at him?a lot. He?d agreed to get the baby monitor fixed, but weeks later, he still hadn?t done it. So there I was, picking up a new monitor that I had researched and ordered, while my twin toddlers were napping at home. Instead of crashing on the couch during kid nap time (usually the most blissful two hours of my Saturday), I was silently cursing him. Why did I end up having to execute every household project, even though we both work full time"
In his defence, Brendan usually does what I ask him to do. But I don?t want to be the only one who initiates, plans, delegates and worries about every task. I was sick of reminding and cajoling him, and resentment had bubbled up. This imbalance of emotional labour?the invisible work that ensures a household runs smoothly?was eroding my marriage. I felt like the CEO of Twins Inc., a startup company my husband and I had founded together, but now I was running it solo. When Brendan and I decided to have kids, I worried that my work-from-home (albeit full-time) job would make me the default caregiver and household manager. We discussed how we?d tackle parenthood as equal partners, but we didn?t expect to welcome twins. Plus, all the talks we had pre-kids were about imaginary scenarios. I soon learned that keeping our little family of four functioning is about way more than just the weekly grocery shop and endless...