My 11-year-old, Olivia, lay sobbing in bed after I refused to buy her a pet hedgehog. ?My dreams never come true!? she cried. I thought of her pony, cat and bunny, outside on our farm, and I swear I could hear my parents laughing. At her age, I was always on the verge of despair; Mom and Dad coped by pretending my drama was its own TV show, which they (kind of) affectionately dubbed ?Preteen World.?
Most kids go through an angst-ridden phase sometime after age 10, which can give them the emotional volatility of a rock star in a hotel room.
Ever since her son William turned 12, Joy* from Saskatoon says he gets moody about things like being asked to eat at the table. ?He stomps and pouts when I get him to move,? she says. Given that her expectations aren?t unreasonable, Joy is frustrated with how reactive her son is now. While people often blame raging hormones for moodiness, Lesley Vaters, a registered clinical counsellor in Mount Pearl, NL, says that?s an oversimplification. ?A preteen brain is still maturing, and the ?emotional? brain often takes over for the still-developing ?logical? brain,? she explains. Vaters says tweens are not finished learning self-control and how to express their emotions appropriately.
Ashley Miller, a child psychiatrist at BC Children?s Hospital in Vancouver, says, ?Kids often manage their unpleasant feelings with rude talk and tossing feelings back on parents through insults or blame.? Parents can set limits, such as ?no swearing,? but Miller r...