In her new book, How to be the Grown-up, clinical psychologist Dr Martha Deiros Collado addresses honesty, attachment, boundaries, and daily parenting challenges. In this extract, she covers sibling conflict?.
Part of building a relationship means experiencing conflict, and sibling relationships are fertile ground to learn skills for conflict resolution. Rather than thinking of conflict as ?bad?, reframe conflict as part of the necessary learning process of being in relationships with others. Depending on whether you?re ?conflict confident? or ?conflict avoidant?, you may find this useful or perhaps triggering. If you tend to avoid or distract from having a conflict with others, take a moment to be curious about why. Who told you conflict was bad, scary or dangerous" When you avoid speaking up about your needs, wants or wishes to avoid a conflict, does it bring you closer to the other person or further apart" Your thoughts and emotions will shape the responses you have when you witness conflict around your child. Assessing the root of conflict
Consider what the conflict is communicating:

Is it a bid for connection and affection (before they know how to do it another way")
It is because of forced requests to share" (Do they need your protection")
Is there a need for personal space" (Is being in the car for an hour too much")
Are there basic unmet needs" (How can you pre-empt these in the future")
Is it rivalry" (Due to w...