The following is excerpted from How We Do Family by Trystan Reese © 2021 by Trystan Reese. Reprinted by permission of the publisher, The Experiment, LLC. 
We had started dropping hints to the kids that we wanted to have a baby. 
Hailey was six when we first started talking to her about being a big sister at some point. One night, when I was tucking her in, she asked if I ?really, actually? wanted to have a baby. I tried to sound nonchalant and dismissed the question with a breezy ?Oh, I don?t know, honey. Maybe!? But she pressed on. ?No, Daddy, you do know,? she declared. ?Yes or no, do you want to have a baby"? I sighed and sat down on the bed. ?Yes, honey. I do want to have a baby.? She promptly burst into tears. ?But you already have a baby. And it?s me!?  Over time, though, both kids softened to the idea. We even started brainstorming baby names together. Lucas still wasn?t excited, per se, but he wasn?t showing as much blatant distress as Hailey had during that first conversation. In fact, Hailey had started to proactively ask about when a baby might come. She already knew many men and non-binary people who had given birth, so the idea of me getting pregnant wasn?t that new or different to her. 
After the first burst of joy and excitement, I settled into pregnant life. We quietly went to doctor?s visits and ultrasounds, and I managed the first-trimester nausea without the kids catching on. We weren?t sure that this pregnancy would take, so I only told my very...