Our beloved dog, Roxy, died at the end of 2021. She was the second commitment my husband and I had made to each other?right after buying our first house (with a fenced backyard), and before marriage, kids, or any of the other grown-up things we would decide to do. Though Roxy was always slightly baffled that we would complicate her perfectly peaceful existence with louder, smaller versions of ourselves, our kids, now 6 and 10, have never known life without a K9 companion.
As Roxy?s health began to decline in the final months of her life, my thoughts began to turn to one of the most complex things we all inevitably have to face as parents: How do I support my kids through the grief of bereavement"
Here?s what helped us.
1. Feel it all, and validate those feelings I will never forget the sound of my husband?s sobs as the home euthanasia vet let us know that Roxy was gone. Even though he?s not a particularly ?macho? guy, I had never seen him cry?not on our wedding day, not when our babies were born, never. Some deeply buried cultural conditioning about what it means to show emotion was released from him that day, and it was as if our entire family was given a permission slip we didn?t know we needed that said:  it?s okay to cry.
I?m guessing your kids, if they?re like mine, have no compunction about crying. But there?s a subtle message we, as their parents, send when we try to remain stoic even when we?re hurting.  Kids do still need to know that they?re safe and secure...