Dear friend,
Ever since you had a baby, our friendship has been in a bit of a rut. For a long time, I thought it was your fault, because as Faith Hill says, a baby changes everything. But recent events have made me realize that I?m actually the one to blame. I owe you an apology. Several, in fact.

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13 things you should never do when you?re visiting a newborn
To start, I?m sorry I showed up to meet your baby empty handed. I figured I?d checked off the gift-giving box at your baby shower, but I?ve since learned that only an ass-hat comes to a newborn visit without food. Even worse, when you asked me if I?d eaten, I responded with ?not really? and let you pay for pizza. I understand if you never want to speak to me again over this blatant exhibit of ass-hattery, and we both know that selfish moment wasn?t the only time I blew it. There was also my Mother?s Day post on Instagram, the one of Peanut and I wearing matching #furmama and #furbaby T-shirts. I now realize that having a dog is not like having a kid. You can?t put a baby in a cage and leave it alone for eight hours, and you can?t pay a stranger $20 to walk your baby around the block with a pack of other babies (OK, maybe you can, but you probably shouldn?t). Plus, a puppy won?t bite your nipp...