When Julie* adopted three young children nearly 20 years ago, she knew that they had fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) and had been removed from their biological parents after undergoing extreme emotional, physical and sexual abuse, but otherwise she was told very little about their backgrounds.
Julie already had a 14-year-old son from a previous marriage when she was given custody of the three siblings, ages two, three and four. She set out to create a safe and nurturing home for the children, and those early days were full of hugging and reading storybooks together. She slept in the hallway every night in case they needed her. But the first hints that creating a family might not be so simple appeared quickly as the magnitude of the children?s challenges became clear. Over time, as her children opened up, the two eldest girls explained that they had been kept in cages by their foster parents and their baby brother had been hit when he cried. Case workers also indicated that their biological parents, who had addiction and mental health issues, had always kept their family on the move. Sometimes, when Julie would go into the girls? room early to wake them up, they would already be dressed in many layers of clothes?as if they were ready to leave at a moment?s notice.
At first, when Julie took the children out for walks, they would climb into garbage cans and start eating. At one point, all three children locked themselves in the bathroom with a bag of cat food, and Jul...