by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy

To my soon-to-be-born son,
You weren't supposed to be here. I never thought I would have a son.
We found out we were pregnant with our fourth baby early in 2017. At our 20-week ultrasound, the technician confirmed what we already suspected: She was a girl; our fourth girl! We were overjoyed! We knew girls! We had this!
But soon, after a very unexpected turn of events, we lost our sweet daughter, your big sister. She wouldn't join our family in the way we planned, and we were heartbroken. Honestly, I assumed this was the awful, tragic way our story would end. Three beautiful, healthy little girls, and then a shocking, painful, cruel loss.
Except that wasn't the end. We still longed for another baby to complete our family, and chose to go through IVF to avoid enduring another loss, which I didn't think I'd survive. There were times along this grueling path I was sure it wouldn't work; that I wouldn't become pregnant. But, by some miracle, I did. And all of the sudden you were in our lives.
I remember feeling you move inside my belly for the first time. After living with an empty ache when life was ripped from my womb, knowing that you were growing and thriving there filled me with wonder and fear. I've worried about you more than any of your sisters. Every day. It's been a long road to get where we are today; just weeks away from welcoming you, officially, into our big, crazy family.
It's not just for your health that I've worried. The...