by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy

Pregnancy hanger. It's like hunger, but on pregnancy hormones.
For those not acquainted with the feeling, imagine being starving, but for two people. And the second, smaller person needs food to grow skin and hair and nails and, well, every cell required to be a human being. So eating when you get hungry is pretty much an emergency, and every moment you have to wait to eat to eat, increases your hanger tenfold, until you are as nasty as the Incredible Hulk mixed with Susie Green from Curb Your Enthusiasm mixed with the fiery demon Teka from Moana.
Here are the stages of hanger you will experience as a pregnant woman.
Stage 1: The first pang of hanger. It might be early in the morning, 15 minutes after a huge meal, or in the middle of the night. When pregnancy hanger will strike is as unpredictable as a newborn baby's sleep schedule.
Stage 2: The onset of impatience. So you're hungry. We've established that. Now you need a plan to gain access to food. Right. Now. And any delay in achieving that goal will produce major anxiety, annoyance, and irritability.
Stage 3: The fantasy of the perfect meal or snack. Pizza crust. Just pizza crust. Or maybe spicy rice. No, banana pudding, or maybe beef jerky. Whatever you have your heart set on to devour, is what you must eat.
Stage 4: The emergence of reality and associated escalation of hanger. OK, so there's no cheesecake in the fridge. You can't order three dozen California rolls for breakfast...